He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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