Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
