if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
