After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
