i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
