you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
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