I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
