Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
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