What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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