Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
