I could have mohawked her pubes.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
