Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
