Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize