what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
