First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
