The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
