You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
I did not marry a roomba.
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