The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He passed out mid-signature
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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