Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
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