i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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