just come out here and I will go home with you...
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
