I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
In other news, I just burned my penis
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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