You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
