At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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