Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
