You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
