She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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