Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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