Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
