Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
