apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
