Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize