3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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