that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
