he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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