The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
