Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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