well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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