dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
