East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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