After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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