My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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