hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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