Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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