It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
