so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
