If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
