I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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