the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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