i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Holy sore nipples Batman
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
