youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Let's paint friendship bongs
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
