Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I will pee on everything he values.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
