if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i wish my penis had a tongue
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
