p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
