we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
