She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
But break dance skills will only take you so far
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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