ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
