Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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