Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
