The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
