I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
