Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
