I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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